Thursday, June 5, 2008
We're thinking about you Nick!
Dominic's uncle Nick had surgery this week and we've been thinking about him so much. His situation brings up organ donation for the second time in less than 2 weeks, my grandfather donated skin and tissue after his passing. Please everyone consider checking the organ donor box on your driver's license and be sure to let your loved ones know about your choice. This really is the gift that keeps on giving and the number of people that one individual can help is just awesome! WE LOVE YOU NICK!!! GET BETTER SOON
inspiration
If we all did this how successful we would each be..and how much would we be encouraging others to be successful??? oh the possibilitiesSunday, June 1, 2008
a game of cat and mouse, err rat? and another wine run
As many of you know already we've been battling some roof rats for the past several months and I think we've finally rounded the bend and MAY be coming to an end....from the looks of our yard yesterday the neighbor cat may be helping. Check out all that fur this must have been some fight!
Rather than sit around we decided to spend another weekend enjoying all that california has to offer and headed back up to lodi. Hey, our stash is getting VERY low. We went to the visitor center next to Wine and Roses (for anyone interested, this is where we're going to stay for the upcoming Harden-Rooney wedding and they have a great restaurant, check out that brunch menu) The visitor center has a great little overview of different ways wine is grown and the tasting room boasts wines from many of the wineries in the area. One of our tastes led us to retry Jessie's Grove which we found better, but still not near as good as some of our favorites. Many of the color flower shots are from the drive to this winery. We also headed to Housley's Century Oak and of course Jewel. We were running low on our favorite Viognier and had a shipment to pick up. Now for the pictures, the sign on the first one says 118 years old...that's a zinfandel stump
These are baby grapes...just wait until early fall they'll taste scrumptious
Friday, May 30, 2008
more things i NEED
Oh how I love this kitchen...please note it's the size of my current kitchen, living, and dining rooms combined ;)Thursday, May 29, 2008
Fun on Vacation
Since I just couldn't bear to have my entire vacation revolve around depressing topics, I decided to head straight from Iowa to Washington and enjoy a few days with my sister and niece before coming back to Cali. We had a great time relaxing and going through the trinkets we'd brought back from Iowa. Then headed to a little known garden with beach access and enjoyed the gorgeous weather. Can anything get more beautiful than the Pacific Northwest??
Incase it's not obvious, Hailee likes to do EVERYTHING just like her grandpa...what a copy cat :)
On the last night we set up the parent's firepit and roasted marshmellows. This must have been Hay's first time because she was quite enamored by the roasting process but not with the marshmellows, as you can see she preferred the homemade chocolate chip cookies She proclamed herself the marshmellow man and distributed them to everyone. 
Sunday, May 25, 2008
life lessons
I was suppose to have spent the last week with my sister, niece and parents in Washington just relaxing and enjoying a little break from work and stress. Instead I spent it making my second trip to Iowa in less than 12 months. 2 trips to Iowa in that period of time is unheard of. Normally I would be excited to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, but as you can tell from my previous blog entry I was going for a funeral and NOT for enjoyment. This was my first time at a funeral, which most find remarkable considering I’m almost 27 years old, but I’m actually quite pleased that I’ve not needed to experience such heartbreak. I was numb for the trip to Iowa and about my abrupt change of plans (no vacation, instead grieving). Not really knowing what to expect made the trip even worse. I think it’s important to know that because my grandparents all live in Iowa I don’t SEE them near as much as I’d like and I don’t KNOW them near as well as I’d like. I chose not to go back when my mom’s mother passed and really regretted that choice which is why I insisted on going this time. Plus, I knew my family was going to need more help this time since now there was no spouse to handle most of the matters (remember my grandmother passed a few years back). I was amazed at how my family came together and supported each other through the packing and dividing up, but also so thankful that we were able to support each other emotionally. I am convinced that we are still numb about his passing. Certainly over time the finality that comes with not having any of the Swank grandparents alive will make coping harder. As much as I hurt from loss it’s really my mom that I feel the most sorrow for. I can’t imagine the emptiness that’s been in her heart this last week.
Yes I’m strong, but I did breakdown at the funeral during one song in particular, Daddy’s hands. If you’ve never heard the song you can hear it here. There are a few things I particularly remember about grandpa, one is him being a member of the Masonic lodge and his Shiner parades, another is the backrubs he always taught us how to give so well, and the last is his hands. My mom pointed his hands out to me when I was younger. He was a farmer and a hard worker for all of his life which certainly made for some calloused hands. I’ve NEVER seen anyone with hands as worn as his. The other obvious thing about the song is that I too have a father. Seeing my mother go through this loss and the inevitable loss of my father are on my mind. Yes, that will be MANY years in the future but none the less, it’s practically impossible to imagine life without him and his love. The other song that really got to me was a song about a father's love. Love without end, amen by George Straight
In all of this sorrow I clung to one thing, even in death my grandfather did things HIS WAY….here is the story of his last days on earth. He had not been feeling well on Friday evening but still decided to keep his plans for Sat. When he woke up early on sat he got ready as usual but still wasn’t feeling quite right and decided he should probably go to the ER. He woke his friend and she got ready immediately. She said she was ready to leave but quickly realized he was in no position to drive saying, I think you should call 911. He sat down to wait while she was on the phone with her back to him. Suddenly she felt his head rest on her back and turned around…he was gone….the paramedics tried to revive him for an hour at the scene and another 30 min at the hospital…but he chose not to come back…..this is how grandpa did things, always thinking of helping others and making as little a burden on others as possible. He wouldn’t have wanted the kids to make the decision they had to with grandma and just didn’t come back. Which brings me to the only positive result of this entire ordeal; he’s finally reunited with the love of his life and his wife of nearly 50 years, Charlotte.
As I said before, grandpa wouldn’t want us to be sad but instead celebrate his life and take the lessons he taught us by modeling a selfless life….it’s much harder to celebrate as the finality sinks in but we will try as a family to honor his wishes.
What’s important in life anyway??? We have been talking and trying to decide when the right time to start a family is, when should we move back to Washington, should we fly back to see our parents over the holidays? Life is not unlimited. My grandfather will never meet my children. Sure, I can tell stories and show them pictures but they will never ride on his tractor or in his Shrine car after the parade. They will never run around the family farm catching fireflies at night in the humid heat. Is there ever a way to anticipate everything? Absolutely not. Can we completely live in the moment? No because we have to believe in a tomorrow. There has to be a balance. I wish I felt like this balance was easier to find right now.
Yes I’m strong, but I did breakdown at the funeral during one song in particular, Daddy’s hands. If you’ve never heard the song you can hear it here. There are a few things I particularly remember about grandpa, one is him being a member of the Masonic lodge and his Shiner parades, another is the backrubs he always taught us how to give so well, and the last is his hands. My mom pointed his hands out to me when I was younger. He was a farmer and a hard worker for all of his life which certainly made for some calloused hands. I’ve NEVER seen anyone with hands as worn as his. The other obvious thing about the song is that I too have a father. Seeing my mother go through this loss and the inevitable loss of my father are on my mind. Yes, that will be MANY years in the future but none the less, it’s practically impossible to imagine life without him and his love. The other song that really got to me was a song about a father's love. Love without end, amen by George Straight
In all of this sorrow I clung to one thing, even in death my grandfather did things HIS WAY….here is the story of his last days on earth. He had not been feeling well on Friday evening but still decided to keep his plans for Sat. When he woke up early on sat he got ready as usual but still wasn’t feeling quite right and decided he should probably go to the ER. He woke his friend and she got ready immediately. She said she was ready to leave but quickly realized he was in no position to drive saying, I think you should call 911. He sat down to wait while she was on the phone with her back to him. Suddenly she felt his head rest on her back and turned around…he was gone….the paramedics tried to revive him for an hour at the scene and another 30 min at the hospital…but he chose not to come back…..this is how grandpa did things, always thinking of helping others and making as little a burden on others as possible. He wouldn’t have wanted the kids to make the decision they had to with grandma and just didn’t come back. Which brings me to the only positive result of this entire ordeal; he’s finally reunited with the love of his life and his wife of nearly 50 years, Charlotte.
As I said before, grandpa wouldn’t want us to be sad but instead celebrate his life and take the lessons he taught us by modeling a selfless life….it’s much harder to celebrate as the finality sinks in but we will try as a family to honor his wishes.
What’s important in life anyway??? We have been talking and trying to decide when the right time to start a family is, when should we move back to Washington, should we fly back to see our parents over the holidays? Life is not unlimited. My grandfather will never meet my children. Sure, I can tell stories and show them pictures but they will never ride on his tractor or in his Shrine car after the parade. They will never run around the family farm catching fireflies at night in the humid heat. Is there ever a way to anticipate everything? Absolutely not. Can we completely live in the moment? No because we have to believe in a tomorrow. There has to be a balance. I wish I felt like this balance was easier to find right now.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
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